Irony
by nandeyane-ryosaku
Summary: Ryoma gets kidnapped... Sakuno to the rescue!
1. Irony

**IRONY**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own POT…

Ne, ne, minna-san! This would be my first time to let my imagination go wild… please be gentle with me… Actually you guys are my inspiration for me to write fics that may seem worthless and lame… please be careful with my heart…

Echizen Ryoma was never sweet nor evil… you can say that he's cocky arrogant, full of pride, full of witty remarks, unbeatable, and (of course) a girl magnet. It's not that he wanted to be one but with all his good looks and charms, there's nothing he can do to avoid crowds – in matches and almost anywhere, as long as he is present there. As his popularity rate increased from 100 to 250, schemes were formed. This could be the end… or is it?

Being in a hurry was a pain for Ryoma. He likes waking up to the meowing of Karupin, have a light breakfast of cereals and look at his watch that would read 10:00 AM, just like any other day. For this day, he had missions to accomplish: buy cat food and a new toy for Karupin, head to the courts, hide from murderous girls, and go back to his own home. He expected that by the time he went home, his mailbox would be overflowing with a mountain of letters; his phone would be overflowing with messages that were as worthless as the callers.

Then the phone rang. Wait. That wasn't part of the schedule. It is supposed to ring after two more hours.

_Nevertheless_, Ryoma thought. He lazily got up from his seat and picked the phone from its cradle.

"Echizen speaking," Ryoma said in English, the language flowing smoothly from his tongue.

"Oi, seishounen," the voice said, followed by a long pause. During those seconds, Ryoma was shocked. His father would never call in a million years, "higatsukete."

"Ne, Oyaji. What's up with you?" he was finally able to break from his stupor.

"Nothing. Just do me a favor and stay away from trouble."

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Ryoma set the phone back and ignored the weirdness going on. His routine was broken because of a call. He put it aside to a corner of his mind and continued with what he was doing. Time to go to the mall.

Echizen Ryoma kept his cool even if he knew that a humongous bunch of crazy fan girls was following him, shouting "Ryoma-sama," "Ryoma-sama come home with me," "Oh my god! Its Ryoma Echizen," "My future husband, look over here," and the like. And to his surprise (which made him barf), an old woman came up to him and said "You look just like my husband!" Who'd have known that a trip to the mall would be full of harassment?!!? If only he brought with him his disguise…

_A few more to go_, he thought, determination overwhelming his whole mind. Then the shock of his life happened: a girl about 16 clasped her hands around Ryoma's face, inching hers closer (**NOTE: **Ryoma has never been kissed. It would be his first time to see a girl's face up-close. If it weren't for his amazing reflexes, he would have been found on the sidewalk, bubbles emitting from his mouth as if he was poisoned. If it did happen, the world would grieve for the loss of a tennis star. Cause of death: inexperienced kiss. He pivoted on his left foot, implied the one-footed split step and ran for his life.

_I wasted half an hour of my life, letting myself get clobbered by shameless, self-centered, weird, crazy, and old women! _ He thought, huffing and puffing with anger and mental and physical stress. Unaware of where he was going, he suddenly found himself by the entrance of the mall, looking quite tussled with his once-crisp polo shirt that turned into a crumpled piece of cloth the he used to cover his body. The girls who were also at the entrance thought that he looked so hot with his careless way of fashion with bits of flesh exposed seductively.

Ryoma, being traumatized by girls, wondered why there were so many blocking his way to the mall. He scanned the area and saw _THE _sign: **SALE! 50% OFF ON ALL ITEMS! **

Oh no. One by one he saw the girls' eyes turn into hearts. He rubbed his eyes. The hearts were still there. It wasn't his imagination. He stared at them, obviously freaking-out, waiting for the bomb to explode.

"Ryoma Echizen is here!" THAT broke the silence. Then the game of cat and mouse began… again.


	2. A Few More To Go 'Til Climax

**IRONY: A FEW MORE TO GO 'TIL CLIMAX**

**Disclaimer: **POT is not mine (if I can't have POT, no one can!!!!)

On this update, you still have to wait. It's still in the rising part… Oh, be patient, and the action shall start sooner or later…

He made his way swiftly through the female hurricane using speed, agility, and will power towards the automatic sliding doors of the mall. He released himself from the grip of the lady guard who tried to handcuff him to a metal bar, possibly to sell him for a good price or start a human auction. Blaming himself again for forgetting his glasses, wig, and face mask (the costume made him look like a nerd who believes that airborne diseases can make his lips and tongue puff up because of allergies), he entered the grocery department. Wrong move. Women doing their groceries were immediately transformed into bulls, charging almost instantly at the target (obviously Ryoma). His feet automatically shifted from neutral to fifth gear, setting the floor on fire (cartoon style), and instead of tire tracks, he left his scent for the "ladies" to follow. Knowing that he would be safer in the perfumes department, he walked aisle-by-aisle slyly, copying that of a cat's grace.

He felt like a spy, doing espionage, although, "like a criminal trying to escape" would suit the situation better than any other statement… Soon he found himself immersed in heavy air, filled with the scent of different perfumes. It made his head hurt like crazy. Then he remembered his dad who once told him that the porcupine inside his skull was probably angry at Ryoma because he was always thinking.

_What time is it that I start thinking about my stupid father?!!!?_ Furiously searching for an exit route, he backed up and bumped into a man. Or was it a woman? _Oh no. Please, don't be a woman!_

It was a man. Unlucky for Ryoma, the man pressed a drugged handkerchief onto Ryoma's face. It made him breathless. The smell of it was overpowering his consciousness. He kicked and scratched at the man. But that didn't stop his kidnapper from hauling him onto his back and piggy-back ride him all the way to their so-called "Headquarters" in a nearby alley.

"Where did Echizen Ryoma go?" confusion was all around. One minute he was here and the next he wasn't. "What the heck is going on?!!?" Those women were clueless. They actually missed the whole scene. How come they didn't see a weird man dressed like Sherlock Holmes carry a famous tennis star on his back? That, my dear readers, is a mystery even I can't solve…

Honestly, I don't know why… It just came out of my mind… Gomen! I would really appreciate reviews for my first fic… onee-chan tachi, onii-chan tachi (nihonggo), hyung, noona (korean), jie, ge (Chinese), mga ate, mga kuya (Filipino), onegaishimasu!


	3. Different Perspectives

**IRONY: DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own POT. Somebody else does (Takeshi Konomi). Make me do anything! This chapter would focus on Nanjiro, Sakuno, and the ex-regulars' thoughts.

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**SAKUNO'S PERSPECTIVE:**

_Six o'clock… watch the news. Seven o'clock… go to the studio. 11:00… eat lunch with the Director at Le Coeur… _Too much scheduling made her day organized. She couldn't live without her planner. She set the hardbound planner on her bedside table and glanced at her clock. It read: 6:00 AM. _Turn on the television and watch the news. _

She was expecting that the news would be all about how much the oil price increased – again. But it wasn't. She focused her attention on the huge flat screen that hung from her ceiling to give the viewers a good position for watching. She stared at it. She couldn't believe what was happening. Girls were wreaking havoc in an abandoned small garage. Then the reporter (live) delivered the report. It goes like this:

_The world's famous tennis star and a hot guy… (Hey! We'll lose our credibility!) Sorry… Is currently held hostage by six unknown kidnappers. The ruthless, good-for-nothing, freaking b*#*&%^(Hey! No bad words! You're a newscaster not a foul-mouthed gangster!!!)… Sorry… The kidnappers are asking for 50 million US dollars as ransom. If anyone would like to have this really rich and handsome hot guy, (Oh, boy!)… Sorry… Just go to this address that you can see on your television screens. Once again, I'm Echizen Kimiko (What do you mean ECHIZEN?!!?) reporting for CMM. Back to studio._

"It serves you right!" she said, a little bit too loud, it woke up Jun, her dog (it was a Labrador). _You deserve to be kidnapped. You are so dumb that you even got yourself kidnapped, while I, a woman with dignity, wouldn't let such a thing happen to me and ruin my career as a rising star in the world of show business! _She thought, still clinging to her belief. She knew that she was being cruel to him because of what happened when she met him at a press conference in the US. She, the young actress, and him, the young tennis star, accidentally bumped into one another. Cameras started flashing and it blinded the two. Upon seeing him, she blurted out "Ryoma-kun!" He just stared and said "Do I know you?" _Just thinking about that makes me flush! Still the same as always! Eight years have passed and nothing as changed at all!_

She was about to turn off the television when she saw a gun pointed at Ryoma's head. With panic at its highest peak, Sakuno took out her secret stash of money under her bed and quickly dressed in casual clothes. Casual they may be, but they still made her look like a real superstar. She didn't bother with her hair, which was now unbraided (she left that hairstyle since the day she was recruited for a movie). She turned off all the lights, locked all the doors, and headed straight for the garage with her case that contained 50 million dollars, no more, no less. No doubt, she still loves the guy.

**THE EX-REGULARS' PERSPECTIVE:**

"Guys, have you watched the news on CMM?" Oishi asked his batch mates, frantically waiting for someone to answer. "Well?!!?"

"Yes, Oishi. We have," Tezuka replied. His face didn't even twitch while watching the live report.

"Don't worry. I'm sure an angel will go and save him," Fuji said with his unforgettable, dreamy smile.

"Hoi hoi! O'chibi really attracts so many people to him, nya! Ne ne, minna, let's go play cards!" Eiji said (who else would? Kaidoh?!!?), his childishness still present in his actions. Nothing really did change. Except for the fact that Ryoma is kidnapped and wasn't able to come to their reunion.

"Oishi-senpai, you worry too much," Momo said in between bites of his favorite breakfast, steak with mashed potatoes.

"Fffssssh… don't talk when your mouth is full!" Kaidoh said, glaring at Momoshiro, his rival for forever. (**NOTE: **He dropped his bandana a few years back when he met Saotome Kagome)

"Don't you think that Echizen can handle this? It's not like he doesn't have a family to give the ransom, right? But I'm still worrying about his condition right now. What if he gets shot?" Taka said, the slightest hint of worry was there.

"Oishi, I think you need a dose of my super-calming, super-tasty, and super-hydrating Inui Juice!" (Inui still doesn't want to reveal his eyes to the public. And he still carries a notebook. And he still makes concoctions)

"Don't you guys even care? Do you think Echizen can handle this traumatizing moment?" Oishi said, fulfilling his role as the mother of Seigaku, even if they have their separate jobs already. (Tezuka and Fuji: doctors, Momo: Gel factory owner, Kaidoh: veterinarian, Taka: sushi shop owner, Eiji: Toy company manager, Inui: researcher, and Oishi: nurse)

The ex-regulars were having breakfast at a well-known restaurant in New York. Coincidentally, they saw a girl with brown hair and gorgeous dark brown eyes, carrying a big suitcase, running towards the garage where Ryoma is being held captive.

"She looks quite familiar," Fuji said, looking thoughtful with his brows slightly creased.

"Look at her legs!" Momo said, forgetting about his steak and stared at the girl with long, flawless legs. "Gotta admit, she's hot!"

"Oi, Momo, I thought you're going out with Ann-chan? Are you two-timing her?!!?" Eiji pointed an accusing finger at Momo.

"Ffssshhh… I know who she is. She's Ryuzaki Sakuno."

"Come on, let's follow her! I bet she's going to the garage!" Oishi exclaimed, taking off to follow the girl.

Tezuka merely sighed and followed his ex-team mates. _If you can't beat 'em, join 'em._

**NANJIRO'S PERSPECTIVE:**

_I wonder how that guy is doing. I hope he didn't ignore my call. I just wanted to warn about something bad that's going to happen. I don't know what that is but it just keeps bothering me. _Nanjiro scratched his head. First, his son's picture frame cracked with no reason at all. Second, he gets this weird feeling. And third, he can't find his stash of porn magazines! The horror! Why must the world bring such bad luck?!!?

He scratched his balding head again (_The years are coming on to me...) _and grabbed the television's remote control with his feet. (You can tell how lazy he is, ne?) The news was on. _That newscaster is HOT. _

_Once again, I'm Echizen Kimiko (What do you mean ECHIZEN?!!?), reporting for CMM. Back to studio._

_What was the news all about? _Then his brain suddenly registered what he had heard. He heard the name Echizen. _Masaka. He couldn't have married without me knowing it! That boy really knows how to keep secrets, _he thought, chuckling heartily. He never did get what the news was all about. He never knew that his son was part of the world-wide news. Not because he was the number one in tennis or anything like that. It was because he, the glorious Echizen Ryoma, was in a disaster.

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So, how was it? I'm sorry if I'm not straight to the point... But, hey, every part of the story is important right? Ms. Yamaguchi (Gokusen) rocks!


	4. Whose Wife is This?

**IRONY: WHOSE WIFE IS THIS?!!?**

**Disclaimer: **POT isn't mine. Period… (I should start my own so that "Disclaimer" won't appear ever again… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Sakuno was unmindful of her surroundings. All that was on her mind were the words: rescue, Ryoma, and 50 million dollars. They were forming senseless phrases in her head, making her confused. Why shouldn't she? All of this was done in a quick moment, which barely lasted ten minutes. She can't back out now.

_Straight ahead and make a left turn. _After living in the urban streets of New York City, it would be impossible for her not to gain sense of direction. And at times like this, she has proven herself as an improved and more useful Sakuno. _Finally! _She stopped running, taking huge gulps of air. Her lungs still keep craving for more. _Now, all I have to do is give this to the kidnappers and the – _she wasn't able to continue. She glanced upward, and wasn't able to stop herself from gasping. _The queue… _She bit her lower lip. _And I thought this would be easy. Rescuing super stars is a lot harder than I thought. _Being the "woman with dignity", she didn't fell on her knees and wail. She used her so-called pride to walk up to the front of the never ending line of thousands of girls. Making her lose face in front of people was just too embarrassing for her to handle. Add to that her reason: rescue a man in danger.

Murmurs rose, starting off with a small whisper and rose to a higher level of talking. Insults were thrown, comments, all mercilessly targeted at her ego. Yet she endured the life-long humiliation as she walked on the very small space provided for her.

"Mommy, when are we going to rescue daddy?" an innocent four-year old girl tugged at her mother's skirt. The woman didn't take notice of her daughter but squinted her eyes at Sakuno who was nearing the entrance of the garage.

_Daddy? I thought he was single! Still, many girls insist that he is the father of their children… _Her thoughts drifted away as she came back to reality. Reality was so cruel for Sakuno. People kept whispering false things about her. "Sakuno, the movie star is here. Why? Don't tell me she thinks she has a chance to make Ryoma-sama hers!"

_Live from the scene of the crime, this is Echi -- (Quit the crap already!).This is Fujimiya Kimiko. As you can see now, Ryuuzaki Sakuno, the famous movie star, is here. Ms. Ryuuzaki, could you please tell us the reason for you to come here?_

Sakuno was appalled. She didn't know what to answer. Should she say that she came here to set Ryoma free or should she say that she came here for fun and see what happens to Ryoma. Whether he gets killed or not, she came here for fun. She shook her head.

"I came here for… this," she raised the bag containing the money for ransom, keeping her ever-pleasant and radiant face. She looked at the newscaster and smiled.

"What exactly is _this_?"

"It's the ransom," she said, yet again, too confident.

"With all respect, Ms. Ryuuzaki, what is your relation to Mr. Echizen that you came here to free him from the kidnappers?"

"Actually…" she said with hesitation. _A small lie wouldn't hurt, right? _She continued, "Actually, I came here because I'm his wife." Again, the smile appeared on her face. (Think of Fuji, except that it's Sakuno's face. That's how cute she would be.) "So I'd better take care of my husband now." She strolled off, walking firmly. But inside, was a small child, whimpering, crying, guilty. The outside was an excellent cover. And as an actress, she did well on her part by pretending that she is Ryoma Echizen's wife.

Again, the murmurs started. Girls eyed her enviously. Some believed her lie and started crying while others decided to deny it and treat Sakuno like a very obsessed girl to the extent that she would even say that she is Ryoma Echizen's wife.

Thank you, minna, for the reviews! You and I are all excited for the ending!!! I really want you to know what devious plan I have in mind… He he he he he…


	5. I'm His Wife!

**IRONY: I'M HIS WIFE!**

**Disclaimer: **Do I really have to go through pain again by saying "POT isn't mine"?!!?

Sakuno walked purposefully, being Echizen's wife and all… She merely smiled at any woman who dared to scoff at Ryoma Echizen's wife. (the extensive use of the word "wife" makes me feel happy… please bear with me). The women made way for their beloved idol's wife (weeee!). _A few more steps 'til Ryoma-kun's freedom._

"Hey, boss. Whose money shall we take?" Yuki Okazaki inquired, looking Satoshi Takeshima, the mastermind of this whole kidnapping, straight in the eyes. He wasn't afraid of Takeshima. After all, he was his right hand and he did most of the job.

"Be patient, Okazaki. We'll know soon." Takeshima, as cool as ever, stroked the fur of his cat he named Akaya. "Just wait. She'll be coming soon."

A smirk was not there. A frown was not there. Nothing was there. Echizen Ryoma didn't know what to do. His first thought was _How can Karupin live without me?_ He was so selfless, thinking about his cat before himself. _And what's the talk about her coming soon? Who is she? _

"Ne, anta-tachi dare?" Ryoma asked, facing his captors. He was tied tto a chair, but his mouth wasn't covered. He can talk whenever he liked, curse whenever he liked, and bite whatever he wants to bite.

Six people formed a line in front of him and… one by one they introduced themselves. _What kind of kidnappers would introduce themselves? Don't they know_ _that I can call the police after they set me free? _Ryoma's face was full of suspicion. He thinks that these people are mental. But at least they were stupid. If not, he would have been dead by now, even if the ransom was given.

The guy who kidnapped him earlier (Sherlock Holmes) went to him and shook Ryoma's hand, which was tied behind the chair. "Yuki Okazaki. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Echizen. I've always admired you and your tennis skills."

"My turn! My turn!" a girl said, jumping up and down. Ryoma recognized her at once.

"You're the girl who tried to kiss me earlier!" he practically screamed at her.

"I'm glad you remembered! Himura Kaoru, present!" She raised her hand, as if an imaginary sensei was taking the class attendance.

"Todou Kenshin," a guy said. This one looked like a famous boy. You can tell by his looks. Honestly, he was cute. And he looked quite like a loner. "And I don't like people very much. I'd prefer to be alone." That confirmed it. But what does it matter?

"Furukawa Arou. Echizen-san is very helpful. He helps us to make such a large amount of money against his will!" he said, laughing maniacally by the end of his short speech.

"Hitachiin Ryou," a boy about 19 said, bowing slightly. He was the shy type.

"Be amazed by me! Satoshi Takeshima! The greatest kidnapper alive!" Unlike the others who were sort-of-serious, he ended his introduction with a dramatic laugh that went Ha Ha Ha Ha with added sarcasm.

"Okay," Ryoma looked shocked. This was not what he expected from his kidnappers. He thought it would be more challenging. "Now that I know all of you, would you please get me out of here?"

"We won't let you off that easily. These girls are dying to give away 50 million dollars!" Takeshima said, turning on the television and showed it to Ryoma. The screen showed a queue of girls lined up outside. Then he saw something that very much surprised him. He saw a gorgeous brunette who introduced herself as his wife.

_She is fit to be my wife. What the hell am I talking about?!!? _He cursed inwardly, angry at himself.

A spark shone in Takeshima's eyes. "Bring the girl in."

What do you think will happen next? Any guesses? Well, see you in the reviews page!


	6. Romantic Reunion

**IRONY: ROMANTIC REUNION**

**Disclaimer: **POT isn't mine! *sigh* There, I said it…

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Upon reaching the entrance of the garage, she immediately rushed to her "husband's" side. She's quite an actress, showing genuine concern and worry.

"Anata!" she called. She ran towards Ryoma, her skirt clinging itself onto her legs.

_Nice legs, _Ryoma thought, then regretted for having smirked. He knew Takeshima had something in mind. He knew he was being watched. Every single move gets recorded in Takeshima's enormous and evil brain.

_Now for the act. _Sakuno wanted to stick her eyes with burning pins rather than do _the _act. But if she didn't her secret might be found out. "Anata!" she shouted again. Sakuno knelt beside Ryoma, ignoring the kidnappers and the camera zooming on her, and (what else should a wife do?) kissed her husband. The kiss lasted longer than she intended to, with Ryoma **discreetly** enjoying every movement the two of them make. They broke apart, Sakuno blushing and Ryoma smirking.

"I'm so glad you're here. But honey, it's too dangerous." Ryoma did well, almost qualified to be an actor.

"Well, well, well," Takeshima said, clapping his hands. "What a romantic reunion! It touches my heart," once again shifting to the theatrical actions, he wiped an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye. He stood up from his seat and marched slowly towards the "reunited" couple.

"Get away from her!" Ryoma spat, his eyes sparkling with profound concern for his wife.

"Why?" Takeshima asked, rubbing his chin.

"Because…" Ryoma looked at Sakuno's eyes, not knowing what to say.

"Because…" Sakuno hesitated, then continued, "I'm pregnant with our son." She forced her chin up, forced herself not to blush, and forced herself to smile at Ryoma.

"Since when?" Ryoma asked, looking, in all the earth, a soon-to-be-father who just received the news.

"Just this morning," Sakuno replied. _It's a good thing he can cope up with the situation._ A sigh escaped from her lips. Realizing what she did, she said, "If only this moron would let you go, our son would be very happy to spend time with his mom and dad," she said, flashing Takeshima an accusing glance.

"What are we going to do?" Okazaki asked, butting in the scene.

"Ooh, ooh, I have an idea!" Kaoru, as bubbly as ever, once again raised her arm. "Let us get her money and let them go! Isn't it great?" She applauded for herself.

"You know, she is right. We did this for the ransom." Kenshin placed his chin on his hand. Being bored was his favorite hobby.

"Yeah," the rest chorused. They all nod in agreement with Kenshin's suggestion. (Actually, it really was their plan. Kenshin just brought it up to remind them.)

_Now, as we can see, there seems to be quite a problem going on the scene of the crime. A pregnant woman just got herself in the midst of the captors of her beloved husband who should be mine (Kimiko! People are gonna sue us for this!!!)… Right… Excuse me… As I was saying, a pregnant woman, who turned out to be Ms. Sakuno Ryuuzaki… or should I say Mrs. Sakuno Echizen, is trying to attempt a rescue for her husband's sake. As we are witnessing right now, the exchange between the wife I'm envious of (Shut up! Kimiko, you're fired after this report!)Ahem… Okay… The news… Right… The exchange has been made and the couple is now making their way towards us, probably to go back to their home and enjoy freedom from captivity. This is Fujimiya Kimiko, reporting live for CMM. Back to studio._

_

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_To tell you the truth, while I was writing this chapter, I was laughing out loud like a megalomaniac! I just felt the need to laugh. Especially the part where Ryoma discreetly enjoys the kiss... Muahahahahahahaha!


	7. Freedom With the Regulars!

**IRONY: FREEDOM… WITH THE REGULARS!**

**Disclaimer: **Obviously, I don't own POT

Oist… Sorry for the long wait… After all, it's summer. It's not my fault I want to be tanned or swim… Anyway, here it is.

Takeshima let them be, crying. "Yes! Do it for love! Remember to take care of your baby! Oh, I just LOVE romance stories! They're so touching and cheesy. They fit my personality!"

"Hey! Boss, you're switching to your gay side… again!" Okazaki slapped his forehead, STILL unused to the way their boss acts.

Ryoma and Sakuno, joining each other once again (really?), walked through the crowds, nearing the corner of the alley. They held each other's hand, thinking that this will all be over by the end of the day. Then the reporter came up to them, wearing a smiling mask. (You know what I mean, doncha?)

"Mr. Echizen, how do you feel about being rescued by your pregnant wife (flashes a diabolical glance at Sakuno who tried to act normal)?" She thrust the microphone upwards, directly to Ryoma's nose, possibly because of anger and jealousy. Ah, the green-eyed monster attacks…

_Oh, look, my husband's nose is bleeding! Wait! What should I do? Am I allowed to suck his nose??? I don't deal with blood! _Sakuno, panicked, then quickly fished her handkerchief from her pocket. "Ryoma! Are you all right?" She tilted Ryoma's chin up, trying to clean the "mess" made by the reporter. Seeing blood gush out of Ryoma's nose, the girls (who haven't given up hope yet) squealed as if they're the ones in pain. Sakuno trusted her instinct, which she had done several times before (remember Ryoma and Shinji Ibu's match from Fudomine and Ryoma and Sasabe's match).

_Ouch! What the hell is wrong with that woman?!!? _He was too busy cursing in his mind when he heard HIS wife (he he he) shout his name. When he noticed what she was doing, she caught his attention. He stared at her. Then he remembered who he was supposed to be, he caught Sakuno's hand and said with a gentle voice, the voice he reserved for someone special that he expected not to come in his life, "I'm okay. Let's go home." He slung an arm around HIS wife (I LOVE that line…) and walked away from the crowd… only to be stopped by 8 people he didn't thought would be here. "Buchou!" Shock overwhelmed him.

_Crap! Why do they have to see me like this?!!? _She tried to hide her face by turning to the other side, but Ryoma won't let her. Instead, he did something that added to Sakuno's embarrassment. "I didn't expect you to be here. Let me introduce to you MY wife. I'm sure you know her, going to the same school and all." Ryoma kept his cool, as if it was normal to introduce your "wife" to former captains and team mates. Get real!

"We know." Fuji said, smiling with _that _smile which drove the girls watching the scene before them crazy.

"Ne, Echizen. What a coincidence! I just remember the day you told me you got married!" Momo said thoughtfully, convincing everyone who heard that Ryoma was indeed married.

"Hoi hoi! Our O'chibi is grown up, nya! You'd better take care of Sakuno-chan and your baby!" Eiji energetically said (as always), waving finger in front of Ryoma's face, practically implying "Nuh uh!"

"I know, senpai." Ryoma paused and looked at HIS wife (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha). "I will." And to make things "official", he held Sakuno's hand tighter and looked at her eyes, slowly leaning in for a kick… (Typographical error) slowly leaning in for a _kiss_.

Hey y'all! How's it goin? I missed writing so I continued this fic. Plus, I've been bored lately… Gotta get my mind off things like TV, sleep, eat, and PSP… It's too much!!!


	8. And They Lived Happily Ever After

**IRONY: AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER**

**Disclaimer: **I not own Prince of Tennis. Me only poor dreamer want take over Teni Puri world. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. *Caveman Robot Malfunctioning. Please try again later*

So guyz… This serves as a warning: After you've read this fic, you'll probably do one of the following:

Laugh out loud. (You're forced to laugh because of the probability that **I **sprayed the fic with laughing gas).

Run for your life. (Maybe because I included a self destruct command _inside _the fic).

Cry. (You were cutting onions with no reason at all while reading the fic).

Unplug the computer and scream "The story is cursed!!!"

Those are the only options you've got… Ready. On your marks. Get set. GO!!!

* * *

"All of you. Assemble and give them privacy!" Tezuka ordered them, and immediately, they formed a wall surrounding the two. It was all perfectly rehearsed, just for the sake of Ryoma and Sakuno's "private time". Cameras flashed everywhere, blinding the ex-regulars, but did Ryoma Echizen care? Of course not. He was too busy playing his role. And why should he even care when all he could think about was "Chance. Chance. Chance. Chance"?

Sakuno was too shocked to react. She just felt her heart beat like crazy, and her knees started to give up. And when she laced her fingers around him, she just realized her dream came true. There was nothing around them. She didn't mind him kissing her in public because she didn't realize that. The only thing that ran through her mind was "He actually is kissing me." She didn't care where they are or in what situation they are in at that moment. Then she stopped. She backed away, slightly dazed. She knew this has to end somehow.

Ryoma just looked at her, demanding for an explanation why she stopped. But he didn't get his answer because they were being pushed and dragged to Ryoma's limousine. It all happened quickly but all Ryoma wanted was her answer. "Why?" he blurted out once they got in.

"Ryoma-kun. Don't you remember that this was all pretend? Don't you know that I only came here because you were kidnapped and I intended to send you back to your own home? Don't you even realize that this is just… just…" Sakuno couldn't find the right word. Her face was flushed and, impossible as it may seem, so angry.

"Too good to be true?" Fuji asked, to their surprise.

"E-exactly. Thanks, Fuji-san," Sakuno flushed more, bowing her head. The silence was very awkward. Ryoma felt that he should do something. When he decided that getting near her was the only way, he did so.

"Ryoma-kun, don't." Her voice was still soft but tinged with hurt and sternness.

"Ne, Sakuno-chan. Aren't you a little too harsh? Being close to Echizen here has a price to pay for some girls, you know. But he's giving this chance to you for **FREE**! Did you hear me?!!? It's for free!!! If I were you and Echizen was a room full of hamburgers, I'd never let this chance pass me by!!!" Obviously Momoshiro said that.

"Nya, Momo! What a nice way to make your point. Hoi hoi, Sakuno-chan! Let me ask you one question: why did you come to rescue O'chibi from the morons?"

"Isn't it obvious? She did that because she likes him. Fsssssssh." Apparently, Kaidoh isn't _that _heartless. He has enough understanding to know that this has something to do about love. As expected of Kaidoh, the animal lover. (Does that mean he sees everyone as animals so he would have an excuse to be kind?!!? How shocking.)

"Th-that's so not true! It's nothing but… but… uummm… uh…The heck with it, even if I told you the real reason, you wouldn't believe me!"

Ryoma merely smirked but said nothing, silently thanking his immature senpai-tachi.

"Don't worry. We'll listen." With that said, Sakuno decided to tell them the truth.

"When I heard the news," she started, "I panicked right away. I didn't know what to do so I just got my secret stash of money and left. Honestly, I don't know why I did that for Ryoma-kun. And one more thing, I received a call. It was some kind of threat. The person who called told me that if I weren't able to bring Ryoma-kun back, he'll make sure that he'll make my life miserable. I think it was a man."

"Anymore than that?" Fuji asked with his eyes open. (So cute!!!)

"Well, I remember after the conversation, I heard scream and a cat meowing." When she remembered, she thought that it was really odd for someone to just call her and ask for Ryoma.

"No way. It's impossible. He did not!" Ryoma was utterly shocked. Based upon the clues he heard from Sakuno, he knew right away that this should be his father's fault. There's no doubt about it. It was all too obvious. But hey, for once, he did something right.

"What is it Echizen?" Tezuka asked, still holding the same aura of superiority over the bunch of guys; it seemed to affect the rose among the thorns as well.

"No-nothing. Don't mind me." He paused. "Can we – can we just go home now?"

"What about me?" Sakuno asked. Little by little, she was beginning to realize that Ryoma was having his way.

"You'll come home with me, wife." The way he said that was so straightforward, accompanied by a smirk. When he said that, Sakuno couldn't help but be amused with Ryoma's tone of finalization. She obeyed quietly. Not mentioning a thing. And all the while, the eight other guys either stared or go suffocated by laughter.

_**MEANWHILE, IN THE ECHIZEN HOUSEHOLD IN JAPAN:**_

"Honey, do you remember my wish?" Rinko asked her ever-loving husband, Nanjiro. (Let's just pretend that that is proven to be true).

"Which wish are you talking about?" he said, looking up from his magazines. Rinko didn't bother to throw them away as long as he's listening to her and doing whatever she wants him to do. (Poor slave… I mean… Poor Nanjiro) "Is it the one where you want to go to the beach and sell barbecues?"

"No."

"Is it the one about seeing Ryoma in a dress and singing our love song with a tiara?"

She giggled first then said "I'd love that but that's not it."

"How about the one where you said we'll all go on a hot air balloon and live in the sky?"

"No. I've forgotten about that."

"The one wherein we'll have the largest stash of Ponta cans in our backyard?"

"No."

"Taking over the world?"

"I'm not even sure that's possible."

"Helping a pregnant dog give birth?"

"No."

"Helping an old woman across the street?"

"I already did that wish."

"Having twins?"

"Nope."

"Eating spaghetti with chopsticks?"

"Nu-uh."

"I give up."

"It's the one including us having grandchildren."

Nanjiro choked. He didn't see that coming. He should remember that he should always expect the unexpected when it comes to his wife. "You know that that's not possible."

"I know. That's why I hired your brother to call a certain Sakuno Ryuuzaki. But then, Karupin attacked him so he wasn't able to introduce himself. Anyway, I heard that she came from Seishun Gakuen and is the same age as Ryoma. And she's also rich and famous, sweet, caring, and the perfect girl for Ryoma."

"How did you know that? It's as if you've known her." Nanjiro said, sitting up straight. Somehow, he was getting suspicious.

"I don't. Here, look at this." Rinko pulled a small notebook. It said "Property of Ryoma Echizen: DO NOT TOUCH". (As if anyone would do that.)

Nanjiro flipped through it with amazement and surprise. He couldn't believe that with all the years he had of being Inui-like towards his son, he only discovered these things when the said brat is already grown up. The contents of the notebook were so intriguing and he couldn't help himself to stop rereading the passages. He read things like "Oyaji is so stupid", "Karupin is my best buddy", "Horio is so dumb", "Osakada is my bridge to Ryuuzaki", "Momo-senpai barfed at me once, complete with traces of burger patties and cheese", "Kaidoh-senpai kidnapped MY Karupin while I wasn't looking", "Inui-senpai loves eating pickles", "Oishi-senpai once adopted a baby boy that he named Tamago. I think it reminded him of his head", "Eiji-senpai got his 'nya thing' because his mom let him listen to recordings of cats when he was still a baby," " Kawamura-senpai loves saying 'burning' because he said his racket was cursed and it was found in the ruins of a burnt building a few centuries ago", "Fuji-senpai can see with his eyes closed because he told me that his eyelids are transparent, as if I'd believe him", "Tezuka-buchou said that the lenses of his glasses have no grade at all. It was just a prop for his strict look because he heard it made him look hot", "Sakuno Ryuuzaki: 2932469 (with hearts around it)", "Sakuno volunteered to start a fund raising program for animals like my Karupin", "Sakuno needs to be protected from bullies", "Sakuno this", "Sakuno that", "Sakuno everywhere". And the rest were all about Sakuno.

After being speechless for about a minute or two, he asked with a shaky voice, "S-so d-did your p-plan w-worked?"

"See for yourself," Rinko replied with a very mischievous look on her face. She switched the television on and explained. "I secretly placed a hidden camera in Ryoma-chan's room when he first moved in. And look at them right now, they look so sweet!" She giggled with excitement as she watched her son sleeping with a young woman lying beside him.

"You're a one wicked woman." He stared at her with awe and admiration.

"I know."

* * *

Know what, it is so fun making innocent people bad… he he he… Have you suspected Rinko to be the mastermind of this whole "plan" just because of a wish?!!? I mean how far can our human brains go? And sorry about some things that might offend you. It's not my fault! Someone is pointing a gun at my head and just telling me what to type! Anyway, hope you liked it!


End file.
